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Jokes and Jabbs
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Author:  1985amceagle [ Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Jokes and Jabbs

i brought this topic over from the old forum.

shaggimo wrote:
So while on the jeep forum I go to now and again I stumbled across a joke thread, thought it was a
good idea, and since we all seem to be a light hearted, good humored bunch why not add some jabbs
too? :lol: So lets see em'. These two jokes aren't mine, but ones I read on the other forum that I found
amusing......




I guess google has their ways on how to get across the ocean. I found this out on google earth, but it will also show up on maps. I don't know about you but I don't want to sail or jet ski across the pacific ocean. :? don't worry im not going to japan or china either no eagles there :cry:

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Author:  Shagg [ Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

Stole this from another forum, cuz me to dum too rite I R ohn matteryal :lol: .

As scholarly gentlemen and gentlewomen, I know you are always increasing your vocabulary. These days, it's hard to find those few choice words to utter, perhaps one of these words will make it special....

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteop0rnosis (n): A degenerate disease.
9. Karmageddon (n): Its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

And the pick of the literature:
15. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an touch-hole.

Author:  1985amceagle [ Thu Feb 14, 2013 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

:lol:

Author:  p0wn [ Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

What do you call a cheap circumcision?





A rip off.

Author:  p0wn [ Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

What rambo does in his down time:

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Author:  1985amceagle [ Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

:lol:

Author:  thereverendbill [ Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

Image

Author:  Shagg [ Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

:lol: :lol: please no. That would be a little awkward, just sayin, hahaha.

Author:  Shagg [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

Image

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Just because squirrels are hilarious :lol: .

Author:  1985amceagle [ Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jokes and Jabbs second edition

ok while where at it Ill repost this too
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