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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 4:44 pm 
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Location: cny
what? I'm lost, guns and ammunition are not the problem, sick and demented people are. The recent events (even surrounding .22 rounds) are ridiculous, people with a legit use of fire arms are being punished for no reason.

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rofl beej ahhahahaha that's a reference to a blowjob right??? WE got a blow job for our 100th member... it's the good life.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:03 pm 
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Eagle

Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:43 pm
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It's funny how the politian dosent understand that clips can be refilled.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 8:40 pm 
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Hornet
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for anyone whos into nascar:

NEWS FLASH, DAYTONA AND JET DRIERS WILL BE SAFE NEXT YEAR!!! jpm is going back to f1 or indy or where ever. not nascar tho. LMAO!!

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 9:24 pm 
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Javelin
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Location: manitowoc wi
casper wrote:
for anyone whos into nascar:

NEWS FLASH, DAYTONA AND JET DRIERS WILL BE SAFE NEXT YEAR!!! jpm is going back to f1 or indy or where ever. not nascar tho. LMAO!!


in other words back to ghosttown

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All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.


Last edited by mudkicker715 on Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 7:52 pm 
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Noob

Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 1:09 pm
Posts: 9
I found this one on stationwagonforum.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUnlHzjcBGY


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:04 pm 
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Location: cny
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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rofl beej ahhahahaha that's a reference to a blowjob right??? WE got a blow job for our 100th member... it's the good life.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:58 pm 
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Pacer

Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:28 pm
Posts: 624
Location: St. Charles County, Mo.
A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man. She then heard her husband coming… she told her lover to stay like a robot and not to move.

Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have sex with when you are travelling…

Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I got my period, so I will go and make a cup of coffee for you…

After she left the husband said: Damn I am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he tried f*cking. The man started talking in a metallic robotic way…

“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE… SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”

Husband: Damn robot is not working properly…I am throwing it out of the window…The man realized that he was on the 20th floor and said…

“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY AGAIN…”


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:08 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:28 pm
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Location: St. Charles County, Mo.
Sharp Shooter


A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.
The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot.
'Could you give me some tips?' he asked.
The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'
'Sure will '
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?'
'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - that'll give you a smoother draw'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.
'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'
The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.


'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun right up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:22 pm 
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Pacer
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Location: pueblo colorado
found this while surfing the net and thought you guys might enjoy it.
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 Post subject: Re: Jokes and Jabbs
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:38 am 
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Pacer

Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2013 5:28 pm
Posts: 624
Location: St. Charles County, Mo.
Just read this one on SpaceBook, got a kick out of it.

Brimfield Police Department
Dear College Halloween Partiers,

Hey it’s Chief Oliver again. This is my yearly letter to you wild and crazy college students who drink too much and wear those really cool costumes to really loud social gatherings. As customary for this time of year, I am offering free advice for you, in order that you remain on your chosen career path and not have a negative impact on your future profession. I do this because we have lots of off-campus housing and we are sometimes the uninvited guests to your party. Please observe the following…

•Yes, we know you have had criminal justice classes. I once sat in a childbirth class. That does not make me a doctor or a mother. I passed out during the childbirth movie. True story.

•We also know you have the right to remain silent. We have no issues if you do so. It allows us to process you and get you out of the building before the alcohol and burrito combination becomes a projectile.

•We ask that you NOT walk around on the roadway. As I stated in a prior Halloween message, one night I almost mowed over all of the Disney Princesses who were sashaying down the road. I cannot live with that on my conscience. I also do not remember Cinderella having so much skin showing…but I’m old.

•Drinking while under the age of 21 is illegal. We don’t make the laws, so call your state representative. You learned about him or her during your government class.

•Know your limits for drinking alcohol. That limit is somewhere between no beer and our holding cell.

•If we show up, please do not run while yelling “cops!!!”. We have dogs and we are capable of tracking. More importantly, there are swampy areas in the Field of Brim. If you are from this area, you refer to it as “muck.” It’s very black and has been known to swallow a few police boots. It is not something I would want to be stuck in overnight, particularly when nature (or the burrito) calls….

•Because you are dressed like Superman does not mean you can fly. Stay off of the roof, please.

•Throwing bottles at us is a bad career move....and it annoys the furry four-legged officers. We are doing our job, which does not include ducking Heineken bottles.

•If you find yourself in one of our cells, please do not “upchuck” “hurl” or otherwise deposit any bodily contents on our facility floor or walls. Although, there may not be a more romantic sight than watching Tinkerbelle throw-up while Thor holds her hair….it brings a little tear to my right eye.

We hope you all have a safe, fun and sober Halloween in the Brim…..Chief Oliver.


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